


Dance to the Beat of My Heart

by Little_Frog



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ballet, M/M, Photography, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-09-10 21:56:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8940988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Frog/pseuds/Little_Frog
Summary: The first time Yuuri Katsuki saw Victor Nikiforov, he was lying face down in a pile of snow at half past six on a Monday morning. OrThe college AU where Victor is a photography student without a subject and Yuuri is a dancer without a theme. I think you all know where this is going.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo my first Yuri on Ice!!! fic! I love this show so much I just had to write something. Not really edited yet so sorry for any mistakes, hope you enjoy! :)

The first time Yuuri Katsuki saw Victor Nikiforov, he was lying face down in a pile of snow at half past six on a Monday morning. The sun cast a warm, yellow glow down onto the frosted ground while bright shards of light poked through gaps in the trees that stood around the covered field, reflecting glittering shards of white onto the trunks and leaves as Yuuri scratched the back of his neck, staring in confusion at the man in the snow.

 

‘Um, is… is everything alright?’ Yuuri asked, leaning down slightly and frowning at the back of the man’s head. A muffled sound came from the man and Yuuri quickly knelt down in the snow next to him, reaching out a hand to lay across his shoulder

 

‘Are you hurt? I can call someone, hold on.’ Yuuri pulled his phone out of his back pocket and ripped off a glove with his teeth to unlock it. Halfway through entering the pin code Yuuri felt something shift under his outstretched hand. He looked down as the man in the snow slowly raised himself up into a sitting position, dusting the flakes from his coat as he did so.

 

‘U-uhm…’ Yuuri jumped, pulling his arm back to his chest. 

 

‘I can’t do it,’ the man said simply, staring at the ground. His silver hair was speckled with melting snow and hung down to obscure his face from Yuuri’s view. Yuuri frowned again and shivered as snow began to soak through the knees of his jeans.

 

‘Can’t do what?’ Yuuri asked after a pause. The man sighed deeply, before abruptly snapping his head up to look Yuuri dead in the eyes. Droplets from his hair flew in every direction and Yuuri, caught by surprise, yelped in shock and fell backwards into the snow with a _whumph_ and a rush of cold air. He blinked, adjusting to the new view of the early morning sky and the horrible feeling of ice cold wetness seeping through every layer of clothing he had on. There was a shuffling sound, the trudging of heavy boots through snow, and then the man was standing above him.

 

‘What are you doing down there?’ he asked with a frown. Yuuri watched as another drop of water ran down the length of the man’s hair before falling and landing with a cold splash onto Yuuri’s cheek. He reached up with his gloveless hand and wiped it away, never breaking eye contact with the man.

 

‘I think that’s what I should have been asking you,’ he grunted out before he pulled himself to his feet and dusted off his coat. The man cocked his head to the side and smiled wide before letting out a breathy laugh. Yuuri froze in the process of wiping snow off the back of his neck and stared at the man, eyes wide. His damp hair was parted at the side and partially covered half of his face, exposing just enough for Yuuri to see his eyes wrinkle at the corners as he chuckled, and two little dimples to appear in the corners of his mouth as he smiled. _Oh._

 

‘I suppose so,’ he said, looking down at Yuuri with an amused expression. Yuuri snapped out of his staring trance and quickly bent down to pick up his other glove, now damp and useless, feeling the tips of his ears heating up.

 

‘So, um,’ he began after shoving the glove and his phone into his pockets and looking up at the man, ‘what exactly _were_ you doing?’  The smile fell from the man’s face, replaced almost instantly with a frustrated scowl. He sighed dramatically before walking back over to where he’d been lying and picking something up out of the snow.

 

‘I was _trying_ ,’ he grumbled, drawing out the word, ‘to create a masterpiece for my end of year project.’ He trudged back to Yuuri and held out an expensive-looking camera. Yuuri’s eyes lit up at the sight.

 

‘Oh! So you go to university here too then?’ he asked excitedly. The man nodded but regarded the camera with a distasteful look.

 

‘Photography,’ he said with another sigh, before tucking the camera into his pocket and leaning his head back to watch the wispy clouds drift lazily past above their heads. ‘I’m just not getting the shot that makes me think _wow, that’s it!_ They’re all just the same winter landscape images with snow and trees, you know?’ He looked back down at Yuuri and let go a deep breath that washed the frown from his face and replaced it with something tired. There was silence for a few moments and Yuuri fidgeted, unsure, before reaching out his open hand towards the man.

 

‘I’m Yuuri Katsuki, I’m a student here too,’ he rushed out, feeling a blush of nerves slowly rise on his icy cheeks. The man seemed taken aback for a moment but quickly recovered and took Yuuri’s hand to shake.

 

‘Victor Nikiforov,’ he said, and smiled wide again, ‘it’s nice to meet you, Yuuri.’ Their hands remained clasped for a second too long, and Yuuri quickly dropped his with an embarrassed smile.

 

‘Nice to meet you too, Victor.’

 

There was another moment of silence before Victor spoke again.

 

‘So what do you study, Yuuri?’ he asked, cocking his head to the side again and regarding Yuuri with his unfairly blue eyes. Yuuri blanched and looked away, face flushed.

 

‘W-well I, um, it’s not as impressive as yours.’ He let out a nervous laugh and glanced up to Victor, who was watching with interest, an eyebrow raised as if to say _go on._ Yuuri picked at a loose thread on his remaining glove before rushing out ‘dance. I’m a dancer.’ Victor’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth opened in a big smile.

 

‘Wow!’ He clapped his hands together and did a little jump. ‘That’s amazing! You’ll have to show me sometime,’ Victor half-shouted, and _winked._ Yuuri wheezed. This man was something else.

 

‘Well I don’t know about that,’ he laughed uncertainly again, ‘I’m not brilliant, I mean, I’m not _bad,_ but I’m far from the best.’ Victor reached forward and wagged a finger in front of Yuuri’s face, pouting.

 

‘Remember Yuuri,’ he mock scolded, ‘even the _best_ were bad at first.’ He smiled as though he’d achieved some great accomplishment and rested his hands on his hips, satisfied. Yuuri’s shocked expression fell into a warm smile at Victor’s words. They stood for another silent moment, simply looking at each other with amused smiles, before a particularly harsh gust of wind ripped through Yuuri’s hair and reminded him that the clothes he was standing in were still very damp and very cold. He shivered, and saw Victor do the same.

 

‘I should probably, you know, head back.’ Yuuri gestured over his shoulder, away from the field and back toward the path. ‘I was on my way to the studio to practise when I saw you… lying there.’ Victor nodded in understanding.

 

‘I didn’t even know the university had a dance studio,’ he said.

 

‘Oh, yeah, it’s a bit out of the way though,’ Yuuri explained, ‘it’s right at the back of campus near the sports hall. It’s only small, but it’s enough. And it’s warm,’ he added as an afterthought.

 

‘Can I see?’

 

Yuuri regarded Victor with surprise for what he swore must have been the fifth time in the last fifteen minutes. The other man seemed unfazed however, continuing to smile at Yuuri expectantly.

 

‘I-I guess so?’ He reached up and messed with the buttons on the front of his coat. ‘There won’t be anyone around though, it’s still early.’

 

‘That’s fine!’ Victor chirped, then tapped a finger against his jaw and asked ‘but how will you get in if it’s empty?’

 

Yuuri reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys, jingling them about in the frosty air.

 

‘Everyone on the course gets their own key.’ Yuuri explained. ‘As long as we leave the studio tidy for the next person we can use the space at any time.’ He dropped the keys back into his coat pocket. ‘I usually go around this time, before anyone else is up.’

 

Victor nodded eagerly. ‘So, I can come then? I might be able to get some nice shots from one of the windows.’

 

Yuuri looked up at the other man. Victor. A man he had known for barely any time at all, stood in the middle of a blanketed field with clumps of snow clinging stubbornly to the front of his coat, silver hair dancing in the icy breeze, watching Yuuri with those blue eyes and childishly playful expression, and Yuuri could do nothing other than nod.

 

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later the two men found themselves standing in the little entryway to the university dance studio. Melting snow from their shoes formed a dark patch on the welcome mat as they peeled off their damp coats and shook droplets from their hair. Yuuri took Victor’s coat and hung it next to his on an empty peg. The building was small and cube shaped, with a changing room to the left that led around to the studio at the back. Yuuri turned to see Victor admiring the trophy case on the wall opposite the door.

 

‘I thought you told me you weren’t great at dancing.’ It was more of a statement than a question, and Yuuri stayed silent. Victor’s face was blank as he inspected the engravings. ‘Only, your name is on three of these.’

 

‘Uh.’ Yuuri choked out when Victor turned to regard him with an almost intimidating look. ‘W-well, they’re only from local competitions, with the university and… stuff.’ He trailed off when the shine of excitement began to return to Victor’s eyes.

 

‘That’s amazing, Yuuri!’ Victor jumped again and turned swiftly to grab Yuuri’s shoulders, pulling him closer. ‘You absolutely have to show me your dancing now!’

 

‘ _Victor-‘_ Yuuri tried, but the other man leapt back and attempted a clumsy spin, grinning all the while.

 

‘What kind of dancing is it?’ he asked, as he spun around, ‘tap dancing? Ballroom? Or perhaps something more modern, maybe-‘

 

‘Victor!’ Yuuri shouted, and instantly winced at the loudness of his own voice in the small space. Victor stopped spinning, and dropped his raised arms to his sides. He looked at Yuuri like a sad puppy and Yuuri immediately felt guilty.

 

‘Sorry,’ he began, ‘I just… I don’t want you to think I’m some kind of professional or anything.’ He let out and empty laugh. ‘I’ve never placed first in the single competitions, just with groups.’

 

Victor stepped forward and placed a finger under Yuuri’s chin, forcing his head up from where he had been staring forlornly at the snow spattered tiles.

 

‘Yuuri, I’m sorry.’ Victor looked genuinely remorseful – brows furrowed and a guilty look in his bright eyes. ‘I never meant to make you uncomfortable, I just get… excited easily and it can be a bit too much. Or so people tell me.’

 

At least, that’s what Yuuri thought Victor was saying. Really he was just staring unabashedly into the other man’s eyes and feeling a powerful blush spreading from where Victor had a hold of his chin. He was strangely charming, in his own way, and Yuuri felt a dreaded yet familiar jump in his stomach. Victor had _really_ long eyelashes, Yuuri noticed. He watched them flutter as the man blinked, then realised that Victor was still talking.

 

‘…across as kind of overbearing sometimes but really-‘

 

‘Victor.’ Yuuri cut him off, and Victor’s mouth snapped shut. ‘It’s fine, really.’ He watched the other man’s fall into that wide smile again and felt a mirroring one creeping onto his own face. ‘I’ll show you the studio before it gets too late and other people start turning up.’ Victor moved back, clapped his hands together again and nodded energetically.

 

‘It’s through this way.’ Yuuri gestured to the door of the changing rooms before pulling the door open and leading Victor inside. ‘The heating won’t have kicked in yet so, uh, it might be chilly for a few minutes,’ he said as they walked through the changing rooms,’ it’s not so bad though, once you get moving I mean. Don’t feel the cold so much then.’ Yuuri realised he was rambling and fell silent abruptly. He could sense the presence of Victor close behind and hear his soft footfalls on the tiled floor. It was strange - he barely even knew the man, and yet… it just felt like something had clicked between them. _Damn,_ he thought, _Phichit’s going to have a field day._

 

‘Here we are,’ Yuuri announced as they rounded the corner and came to a large brown door marked ‘STUDIO’ in red lettering. He turned the handle and pushed the door open, hinges squeaking in protest. The room they walked into was a modest size with four large windows that broke up the far wall, offering views out onto the snowy fields of the sports complex next door. Their shoes squeaked on the polished wood of the floor as Yuuri led Victor into the middle of the room.

 

‘This is really nice,’ Victor commented as he looked around. His eyes lingered on the long bar affixed to the left wall. ‘You never told me,’ he stated, and looked back down at Yuuri with a glint in his eyes.

 

‘Told you what?’

 

‘What kind of dancing you do.’

 

Yuuri looked away for a few seconds before fixing Victor with a determined stare.

 

‘Ballet,’ he said, before closing his eyes and preparing himself for the laughter that was to inevitably come every time he confessed to someone that yes, he was a 24 year old man who practised ballet for far too long on a daily basis. He waited, eyes pressed shut, but the laughter didn’t come. Slowly he opened one eye and peeked up at the other man. Victor had one hand pressed tightly over his mouth, facing away from Yuuri, and seemed to be deep in thought. As Yuuri watched, differing emotions flitted across his features. Astonishment, frustration, longing, then something else that Yuuri couldn’t quite place.

 

‘Um, Victor?’ Yuuri edged toward him and raised a hand, though before he could lay it across Victor’s arm, the man shook his head and turned to Yuuri with that wide smile plastered across his face again.

 

‘I’d never have taken you for a ballet dancer, Yuuri,’ he almost cooed, and leaned into Yuuri’s space a little more.

 

‘Oh, um, well you know,’ Yuuri laughed nervously, ‘you’ve only known me for an hour or so?’

 

Victor seemed to realise himself and stepped back quickly. ‘Ah, sorry,’ he laughed quietly, ‘there I go again.’ There was a moment of awkward silence before Yuuri coughed and gestured around at the room.

 

‘So, this is it. If you wanted to try for those shots you were talking about…’ Yuuri pointed at the windows.

 

Victor nodded and headed over to the far wall, digging his camera back out of his pocket as he walked. Yuuri stood and watched as he began to move around the windows, clicking repeatedly and humming to himself. A cloud moved past outside and allowed the full glare of the sun to enter the studio, throwing long lines of light across the polished floor. The light showered Victor in the brightening orange of morning, rippling through his hair and highlighting the silver strands. Yuuri felt a shiver run down the back of his neck. _He looks like a painting_ , he though. He shook his head and willed away the swooping feeling in his stomach before calling out.

 

‘I’ll just be getting changed for practise,’ he called across the room. There was no response from Victor, so Yuuri turned and headed back into the changing rooms, leaving the other man to his work.

 

A few minutes later, Yuuri emerged back into the studio wearing his typical practise gear of leggings and a loose t-shirt. Victor was lying in the middle of the floor, aiming his camera at the light that swooped in through the windows. Yuuri walked over, sat down next to Victor and pulled on his shoes.

 

‘So,’ he began, and Victor looked up from his camera, ‘did you get what you wanted?’ Victor looked up at Yuuri and grinned.

 

‘I don’t think so, I haven’t seen you dance yet.’

 

‘Huh?’ Yuuri squeaked and Victor laughed loudly. ‘I never said I’d actually dance in front of you, you know,’ he muttered irritably over the sound of Victor’s laughter.

 

‘Ah,’ Victor leaned in close and prodded Yuuri’s cheek teasingly. _This man doesn’t understand personal space at all_ , Yuuri thought as the mischievous smirk returned to Victor’s face.

 

‘But you never said you _wouldn’t_.’

 

Yuuri groaned out loud in frustration.

 

* * *

 

Victor waited patiently while Yuuri took his time stretching, clicking around on his camera and humming in thought to himself. After a few minutes Yuuri stood up and walked across to the stereo in the corner before turning to Victor.

 

‘You can sit over there.’ Yuuri pointed to a small bench next to the door of the studio. Victor looked up and nodded eagerly. ‘Don’t expect anything amazing,’ he insisted, ‘it’s still just practise.’

 

‘Just because it’s practise doesn’t mean I won’t find it amazing Yuuri,’ Victor countered with another teasing tone, as he turned and made his way over to the bench. Yuuri sighed deeply. He felt as though he’d aged three years since getting up that morning. He opened the stereo to see the CD from his session the day before still sitting inside and clicked the play button. A soft piano melody began to fill the air as Yuuri made his way to the centre of the room and got into his starting position.

 

When he began to move, Yuuri forgot about the man sitting in the corner of the room. He forgot where he was, and who was there with him. The music swept across the room, pushing his body across the floor in leaps and elegant spins and Yuuri let himself ride the gentle waves of the piano as though he was floating through the air. He could hear nothing but the melody and the beat of his own heart in time to the rhythmic chords of the music, nothing but the whoosh of air across the skin of his face and the soft thumps of his feet every time he came back down to earth. Yuuri danced like it was the only thing he ever wanted to do, like it was the only thing he ever would. Eventually the melody slowed down and bled out to the last few, quietening notes. Yuuri followed its lead and came to a stop, arms stretched far above his head and fingers reaching out to grasp something beyond his reach. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to catch his breath, thinking deeply about where he had gone wrong, and which parts of the routine needed the most improvement. He was thrown from his thoughts by a sudden enthusiastic clapping, and shot round to see Victor on his feet, big smile on his face and hands a blur in front of him as he congratulated Yuuri on his performance.

 

‘Yuuri!’ he cried, and ran over to where Yuuri stood before throwing his arms around the man and crushing him to his chest in a sudden embrace. ‘That was wonderful! Beautiful!’ Victor spouted continuous praise into Yuuri’s ear, and Yuuri felt his face growing redder and redder by the second.

 

‘Victor,’ Yuuri wheezed, muffled against the other man’s shoulder, ‘you’re crushing me.’

 

‘Sorry! Sorry!’ Victor laughed and let go of Yuuri, but the smile remained on his face. ‘That really was something else you know, Yuuri. Your name should be on the top of all those trophies out there.’ He gestured behind in the direction of the changing room door and Yuuri looked away.

 

‘Ah… well, it’s because I’m not so good during competitions.’ He glanced back up at Victor, whose face was still glowing with enthusiasm. ‘I get nervous and mess up easily, it happens every time.’ Yuuri looked back down at the floor and messed with the hem of his practise shirt.

 

There was a loud bang from inside the changing rooms and both men jumped in shock, whirling round to face the door. Victor raised an eyebrow and Yuuri ran a hand through his hair.

 

‘That’ll be my tutor, Minako,’ he sighed, then muttered to himself, ‘oh _no_.’ Victor hummed in question but Yuuri barely had time to open his mouth before the door to the changing rooms slammed open and a woman with long brown hair swept into the studio. Her eyes immediately zeroed in on Yuuri and she stalked towards him with an angry frown. Yuuri took several quick steps backwards until he was pressed against one of the windows and held his hands in front of his face, waving them about rapidly.

 

‘I’m sorry! I’m sorry!’ he tried, but Minako marched right up, raised her hand, and poked him in the forehead.

 

‘I waited,’ she said in a dangerously calm voice, ‘all weekend,’ she prodded him again, ‘for that e-mail.’

 

‘I really am sorry!’ Yuuri cried, ‘I tried, honestly! I just can’t think of anything!’

 

The woman dropped her finger away from Yuuri’s face and scowled. Yuuri let out a sigh of relief and rubbed at the red mark that Minako’s finger had left. She huffed and pinched the bridge of her nose, looking down at the floor. Ten seconds of tense silence passed before she raised her head and looked at Yuuri again. The anger had now gone from her face, instead replaced with a concerned frown and a pleading look in her eyes.

 

‘Yuuri, you know you don’t have long before the deadline,’ she whined, ‘and I _know_ what you’re capable of. _You_ know what you’re capable of.’ Yuuri sagged against the wall guiltily.

 

‘I just…’ he took a deep breath and tried again, ‘I just can’t find something I can hold on to, something solid. Everything I think of just seems to float away.’

 

‘ _Achoo!’_

 

Yuuri looked up to see Victor frozen with a hand over his face. He sniffed and dropped the hand before smiling guiltily at the other two. ‘Ah, sorry,’ he said sheepishly.

 

‘Yuuri!’ Minako cried, and leapt over to Victor. ‘You didn’t tell me you brought along a friend!’

 

‘He’s kind of, been there the whole time?’ Yuuri’s comment however was lost underneath Minako’s cooing and fussing.

 

‘Oooh _Yuuri_ , he’s so _handsome_!’ She pinched at Victor’s cheeks and Victor looked over to Yuuri pleadingly, his eyes seeming to scream _help me!_

 

‘W-well, we only met this morning,’ Yuuri stuttered out, ‘I think you’re scaring him.’

 

‘Sorry!’ she laughed, and gave Victor a hearty slap on the shoulder before turning back to Yuuri and grinning. Yuuri saw Victor wince out of the corner of his eye and couldn’t stop the smirk that spread across his face.

 

‘Sooo,’ Minako drawled, and winked at Yuuri, nodding her head at Victor. Yuuri felt a flush spread across his face and scowled at her.

 

‘ _No_ ,’ he whispered insistently, though Minako simply laughed loud and waved a hand in dismissal.

 

‘I’m playing with you Yuuri,’ she giggled. ‘Though,’ she looked to Victor, ‘class does start soon so we’re going to need the studio empty, not meaning to be rude.’

 

Victor nodded in understanding and smiled at them both.

 

‘Of course, of course, I need to be going anyway.’ Victor turned to Yuuri. ‘This might seem a bit forward but I’d very much like to meet again, if that’s okay?’ he asked. Yuuri’s eyes widened and he nodded briskly.

 

‘Y-yeah, sure. Um, I’ll probably be here at the same time tomorrow…’ he offered, and Victor’s face lit up.

 

‘I’ll see you tomorrow then, Yuuri,’ he said, and winked again. _Oh my God._ Yuuri thought as Victor turned and walked across the dance studio, waving before slipping out of sight behind the door. There were a few seconds of silence as Yuuri listened to Victor’s footsteps fading out of earshot and the eventual bang of the entrance door as he left. When he turned around Minako was watching him with interest, both eyebrows raised and an amused smirk on her face.

 

‘Not a word,’ Yuuri stated, face beet red, before turning around and stomping back over to the stereo, his mind replaying Victor’s wink over and over again. It was going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the second chapter! Life is kind of taking over right now but I'll try my best to update when I can, and thank you to everyone who supported the first chapter, really gives me motivation to write more, anyway, hope you enjoy :)

 

Yuuri almost tripped over Phichit when he returned to the dorm later in the afternoon. His roommate was spread out in a starfish shape in the hallway with a hefty photography book splayed across his chest and a conflicted look on his face. Yuuri closed the door behind him and stood over his friend, frowning.

 

‘Is everyone I meet today going to be lying in the middle of the floor?’ he muttered to himself.

 

‘ _Yuuuuriiii_ ,’ Phichit whined.

 

‘Hmm?’ Yuuri carefully stepped around his friend and reached across to hang up his coat before leaning down to slip his trainers off. ‘What’s the matter?’

 

Phichit sighed dramatically and laid an arm across his forehead before responding.

 

‘My tutor has _banned selfies_ from our final portfolios.’ He groaned and sat up slowly. ‘My whole project was based around them, I’ve go to rethink the _entire_ thing now.’

 

‘Oh.’ Yuuri knelt down to where his roommate was staring holes in the carpet and hummed in thought. He knew Phichit, a photography student, had been planning his final submission for months now – artistic self-portraits in a variety of settings. ‘Isn’t there any way you can get around it?’

 

Phichit sighed.

 

‘I don’t know, she was pretty thorough. We’re not allowed any photos of ourselves that were self-taken, even if they’d been set on a timer. My whole mirror idea is ruined.’

 

Yuuri stood and stretched, wincing at a loud crack that sounded from somewhere around his lower back. ‘I’m sure you can think of something, maybe ask some of the other students to take photos of you that wouldn’t be so obvious?’

 

‘Yeah, maybe.’ Phichit huffed and got to his feet, bending down to pick up the photography book with a groan.

 

‘Hey, uh, have you eaten yet?’ asked Yuuri, suddenly struck with an idea. Phichit shook his head and regarded Yuuri questioningly. ‘Want to go to Uni Pizza?’ Phichit’s face immediately lit up, eyes sparking in the dim light of the hallway.

 

‘Yes!’ he nodded vigorously, dilemma momentarily forgotten, before grabbing his coat. Yuuri laughed.

 

‘Just let me get changed first, I’ve been in these practise clothes all day and my socks are still damp from this morning.’

 

‘What happened this morning?’ Phichit paused in reaching for his coat to ask.

 

‘Ah, I’ll explain when we get there.’ Yuuri chuckled nervously and found his mind drifting back to Victor. There was something about the man that he found captivating, something deeper than just the silver tones of his hair and the sly wink he’d been sending Yuuri’s way. His face must have betrayed him once again, or it might have been that his roommate was particularly susceptive to Yuuri’s emotions, because there was a hum of interest and Yuuri was jolted from his thoughts by Phichit’s knowing grin.

 

‘Oh yeah,’ he pointed at Yuuri, ‘you’re definitely gonna explain.’

 

Yuuri paled and sent a quick prayer to whoever was listening that he would get through Phichit’s interrogation unscathed. His roommate just laughed as Yuuri stuttered some half formed words and retreated to his bedroom, face red once again.

 

‘Ugh,’ Yuuri groaned as he pushed his bedroom door shut and rested his forehead against the cold wood. First Minako and now Phichit, as if his own mind wasn’t enough – constantly repeating the events of this morning with too much focus on Victor’s smiling face. God. He was _weak_.

 

‘Yuuri come on!’ Phichit shouted from down the hall, ‘I’m starving!’

 

‘I’m coming, just a second!’ he called back before hastily stripping off his practice clothes and pulling on a pair of old jeans and a thick, moss coloured jumper that had definitely seen better days. Partly because it was the comfiest item of clothing he owned, but mostly because it annoyed Phichit.

 

‘I’m here, I’m here,’ he repeated, and smirked at the look of hopelessness on his friend’s face when he saw the jumper.

 

‘Yuuri,’ Phichit deadpanned, ‘we are going shopping over Christmas break, and I am buying you a new jumper.’ Yuuri grinned childishly at his friend.

 

‘You can buy me what you like, but I’m still going to wear this one.’

 

Phichit looked up at the ceiling for a moment as if in prayer before turning around and walking out of the door without a word. Yuuri followed a few seconds later, trying to suppress his chuckling.

 

* * *

 

‘And you’re seeing him again tomorrow?’

 

The two were sitting comfortably in their favourite window seat at the shady-looking establishment that called itself ‘Uni Pizza’ in large florescent lettering just outside of the campus grounds. In reality, the pizza restaurant had nothing to do with the university whatsoever, and had been set up by a middle aged balding man called Frank who had obviously seen the connection between students and pizza, and had used his savings to make the most of the opportunity. Said balding man was currently swearing loudly in the kitchen and Yuuri winced at a particularly loud crash before answering Phichit.

 

‘Yeah.’

 

Phichit beamed at him from across the table as Yuuri finished relaying the events of the morning through mouthfuls of greasy pizza. He turned to face the window, embarrassed. It had begun to snow again – white flakes falling slowly through the sky to land on the hats and hoods of the people passing by outside. A man strode past with platinum blonde hair and Yuuri jolted in his seat, but calmed again when he looked closer and saw that it wasn’t Victor. A hand appeared in front of his face and waved. Yuuri jumped again and turned back to Phichit.

 

‘Honestly, did you even sleep at all last night?’ his friend asked. Yuuri laughed embarrassedly and scratched his chin.

 

‘It’s just been a long day,’ he sighed. Phichit nodded and leaned back in his chair.

 

‘I know…’ he yawned, ‘…how you feel. Let’s call it a night, yeah?’

 

Five minutes later the two friends were trudging through the freshly fallen snow, wallets lighter and stomachs full to burst.

 

‘Ugh,’ Phichit groaned, ‘you should stop me after six slices, Yuuri. I think I might die.’

 

‘How can I stop you if I can’t even stop myself?’ Yuuri clutched his stomach as he walked, regretting every bite he’d taken of that last slice. ‘I am so going to regret this in the morning.’

 

‘At least you don’t have class,’ Phichit said after a pause. ‘It’s not like you’ll have to go through all of Minako’s drills or anything.’

 

‘I guess so,’ Yuuri hummed.

 

They walked the rest of the way in near silence, wincing every time they passed any form of food place. They shared and unspoken agreement of ‘never again,’ but both still knew where they’d end up next time the fridge was empty.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri was halfway through his routine the next morning when Victor made his entrance. The man barged through the doors to the studio with a cup of something hot in each hand and the biggest smile on his face. Yuuri almost had a heart attack mid-jump.

 

‘Good morning Yuuri!’ Victor shouted across the room. Yuuri, surprised, landed badly and ended up in a crumpled heap on the floor, staring up at the panelled ceiling of the studio. Immediately there was a shout of surprise and loud thudding as Victor ran over to help.

 

‘Yuuri!’

 

Yuuri blinked as Victor appeared above him, face awash with concern. He knelt down and laid a hand on Yuuri’s cheek.

 

‘Are you alright? Oh no, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have frightened you like that, I won’t do it again I promise, you’re not hurt are you?’ He rambled on and on while Yuuri lay on the floor. Victor’s hair caught the sunlight where it hung down across his face and Yuuri watched the colours dance through the strands. A smile began to form on his face as he watched the other man fuss over him. Victor noticed the smile and stopped mid-sentence, one hand still resting across Yuuri’s cheek and a look of confusion frozen across his face.

 

‘I’m fine, Victor,’ Yuuri said quietly, before pushing himself into a sitting position. Victor’s hand fell away from Yuuri’s face and he caught himself missing the soft touch.

 

‘Are you sure?’ Victor looked genuinely remorseful and Yuuri felt a stab of guilt.

 

‘Yeah, don’t worry,’ he assured, ‘I’ve had worse falls than that.’

 

A moment of silence fell between them, and Yuuri found himself once again staring at the colours of the other man’s eyes, before he realised what he was doing and abruptly jumped to his feet. He looked down at Victor, who was still kneeling on the floor, and smiled gently. Victor’s eyes widened in surprise, but quickly softened again as he looked up at Yuuri.

 

‘I bought us a drink,’ he said, and pointed over to the door. Yuuri turned his head to see the steaming cups from earlier sitting abandoned by the entrance, and felt his face warm at the sight.

 

‘You didn’t have to do that,’ he muttered, and heard Victor chuckle.

 

‘Yuuri,’ the man said as he got to his feet with a grunt, ‘it’s freezing in here,’ he pointed at Yuuri’s practise clothes, ‘and you’re not exactly dressed for the cold.’

 

Yuuri fidgeted where he stood. It wasn’t like he could argue - the studio _was_ cold this early in the morning, and a thin t-shirt was never the best thing to be wearing when the temperature outside was so far below freezing.  He watched Victor go to fetch the drinks and walked over to the stereo before pausing the music. The studio fell into abrupt silence, broken only by the sound of Victor’s footsteps as the man returned to join Yuuri.

 

‘It’s just regular coffee,’ he said as he handed it over, and Yuuri definitely did not jump a little when their fingers brushed. ‘I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I just got something ordinary.’

 

‘T-that’s fine, coffee is fine,’ Yuuri stuttered and sunk down onto the small bench next to the stereo. He wrapped his hands around the cup and closed his eyes in bliss as he felt the warmth seeping into his chilled skin. The bench creaked a little as Victor sat down beside him. Yuuri felt the man’s coat brush the bare skin of his arm and he shivered.

 

‘Are you really that cold?’ Victor asked, shuffling a little closer to Yuuri.

 

‘Ah, no, I’m okay. Thank you for the coffee.’ Yuuri turned his head to smile at Victor, but breathed in sharply when he saw how close the other man was. Their shoulders brushed as Victor sipped at his drink. Yuuri watched his throat bob as he swallowed and coughed nervously. _Get yourself under control, you weak man,_ he thought, and took a large gulp of his own drink.  Flustered, Yuuri had forgotten a simple rule about coffee – it was usually very hot. He immediately spluttered as the boiling liquid burned his tongue and seared his throat. Eyes watering, Yuuri hastily placed the cup onto the floor and fanned his mouth erratically, blowing out huge puffs of breath.

 

‘Yuuri!’ Victor put his own cup down next to the bench and turned to fully face the other man. He grasped Yuuri’s face in both hands and turned him towards him.

 

‘Yuuri that’s really hot! Are you alright?’

 

Yuuri stared back at him, face squished between Victor’s hands, mouth forced into a silly pout. He choked again in shock, and felt the tears from his eyes spill down across his cheeks and over Victor’s fingers.

 

‘Oh _Yuuri_ ,’ Victor whined, ‘wait right there!’ He took off across the room and burst through the changing room door, rapid footsteps muffled as the door swung shut behind him. Yuuri coughed a few more times and wiped the tears from his face. _Idiot._

 

When Victor returned he was carrying his bag and hastily rummaging through it. He hurried over to Yuuri and knelt down in front of him, pulling out a water bottle.

 

‘It’s not very cold but its better than nothing,’ he said, handing the bottle to Yuuri who immediately took several huge gulps before sighing contentedly at the coolness soothing his burned mouth.

 

‘Thanks,’ Yuuri said after finishing more than half of the water and handing the bottle back. Victor simply smiled and tucked it back into his bag. He cocked his head to the side and watched Yuuri with an amused smile.

 

‘Better?’ he asked. Yuuri nodded.

 

‘Much. Thank you.’

 

Victor sighed with relief and shuffled back over to sit next to Yuuri on the bench. A few seconds of silence passed before Victor spoke up again.

 

‘What time does your class start today?’ he asked. Yuuri shook his head.

 

‘There isn’t one today, I’m just here for practise.’ He breathed out deeply. ‘I still need a theme for my piece, Minako says she can’t feel anything certain from my performance. She says I need to narrow it down and focus on one thing rather than trying to put lots of different elements together.’ Yuuri leaned back and rested his head on the wall behind them. ‘I just can’t think of what to go with.’

 

Victor hummed and remained silent for a moment before speaking.

 

‘I have the same problem with my project. My tutor says I need a subject to focus on but I just can’t find anything that works.’

 

Yuuri closed his eyes and listened to Victor speak. He could feel the man’s voice in the vibrations that travelled through their touching shoulders and smiled. It was a strangely comforting thing.

 

‘Are you going to dance again today?’ Victor asked after another moment of quiet. Yuuri’s eyes shot open and he turned to face Victor. ‘I must have watched your last practise at least seven times, but it’s just not the same as seeing it in person.’

 

Yuuri opened his mouth to reply but almost immediately snapped it shut again and frowned. How had Victor seen yesterdays’ practise more than once? Yuuri only danced that one time… unless…

 

‘Victor.’ Yuuri’s voice was calm, dangerously so, and Victor flinched.

 

‘Yes Yuuri?’ he smiled, but it seemed forced and guilty.

 

‘Did you by any chance,’ Yuuri asked quietly, ‘record my practise session yesterday?’

 

‘Ah, well I… uh,’ Victor held up a finger as if to start explaining, but faltered under Yuuri’s suddenly steely gaze and swallowed audibly, ‘…yes.’

 

Yuuri groaned and buried his face in his hands.

 

‘I’m sorry, Yuuri,’ Victor rushed out, ‘I’ll delete it.’ He opened his bag and pulled out his camera but Yuuri grabbed hold of his hand before he could turn it on.

 

‘It’s okay,’ he said, looking back up at Victor. ‘I don’t really mind, it’s just… there were so many _mistakes_.’

 

Victor’s eyes were wide at he looked at Yuuri, then grew bigger still as his gaze travelled down to where Yuuri’s hand rested over his own. He blinked. Yuuri followed his line of sight.

 

‘Um,’ Yuuri said eloquently, before slowly pulling his hand away. Victor coughed and sat up a little straighter.

 

‘Well,’ he smiled at Yuuri after he had gathered himself, ‘it didn’t look like there were many mistakes to me.’

 

_My God_ , thought Yuuri, as he watched the sun’s rays sweep gently through Victor’s silver hair and across his smiling face, _what did I ever do to deserve this friendship?_ Another thought struck him, were they friends? Nothing had explicitly been said, but it certainly felt like something had begun to connect them.

 

‘You know, I don’t feel much like practising anymore today,’ Yuuri stated as he rose and stretched.

 

‘Oh.’ Victor’s face fell, and Yuuri quickly backtracked.

 

‘I-I mean, we could… do something else instead?’

 

Victor’s face lit up instantly. He jumped to his feet and clapped his hands together with excitement, a wide grin spreading across his face.

 

‘Absolutely!’ he almost shouted, ‘what do you have in mind?’

 

‘Well…’ Yuuri scratched at the back of his neck as he thought. ‘I could do with a visit to the library, see if I can find any inspiration for my piece,’ he suggested, ‘it might help you with your project too.’

 

‘That sounds like fun,’ Victor said, picking his bag back up and swinging it over his shoulder, ‘we can help each other out.’

 

Yuuri smiled and nodded. ‘Just let me get my things together and we can go.’

 

‘Of course, I’ll go and wait outside for you,’ Victor said, picking up his half empty coffee and smiling at Yuuri before turning and making his way out of the studio. Once the door had clicked shut behind him, Yuuri raised his hand up to his face and turned it over. Victors hand was so soft, and warm. He smiled to himself and felt a blush spreading across his cheeks, but didn’t have the energy to scold himself again. Shaking his head he hurried around the studio, turning off lights and closing all the blinds before leaving in the direction of the changing rooms.

 

Yuuri was still smiling as he changed out of his practise clothes, and still when he met Victor by the main entrance. Victor smiled back.

 

‘Shall we go then?’ Victor offered, and Yuuri nodded quickly, locking the door behind them. As they walked, fresh snow crunching underfoot, Yuuri watched Victor’s hands swinging by his sides from the corner of his eye. He wanted desperately to reach out and take hold of once, and the sheer strength of the sudden want surprised him.

 

‘Aren’t your hands cold?’ he found himself asking after a few minutes.

 

‘Hmm?’ Victor looked over at him in question.

 

‘You don’t have gloves.’ He pointed at Victor’s exposed hands and the other man laughed.

 

‘I always lose them, I’d just end up wasting money on a new pair. They wouldn’t last a week.’

 

Yuuri laughed into his scarf.

 

‘You’re hopeless.’

 

Victor chuckled in response and tucked his hands into his coat pockets.

 

* * *

 

‘It’s no use,’ Yuuri huffed, throwing another book down to join the growing pile to their left. Victor looked up from where he was sitting opposite Yuuri, legs crossed and face buried in a photograph manual. They were camped in the corner of the library on a pile of stolen pillows, surrounded by various magazines and books on all things dance and photography. Yuuri grabbed a large purple book with ‘DANCE’ in golden lettering on the cover and flipped to a random page. Victor sighed.

 

‘Yuuri,’ he said softly, ‘why don’t we leave it for today? We’ve been here for two hours already.’

 

Yuuri put down the book and lifted up his glasses to rub his sore eyes.

 

‘I guess you’re right,’ he admitted, and looked over to Victor, ‘I don’t think I’m going to find anything useful in any of these anyway.’ He gestured around at the discarded volumes and huffed out a frustrated breath. Victor smiled and they began to gather the books into orderly piles.

 

‘Damn,’ he huffed, and Yuuri looked up to see him studying his phone screen, ‘my class starts soon, I’m afraid I’ll have to get going.’

 

‘I’ll walk with you,’ Yuuri offered, ‘I don’t have anywhere else to be today so I don’t mind.’

 

‘Are you sure?’

 

‘Yeah, it’s fine.’

 

Victor beamed at Yuuri, ‘let’s go then!’

 

The two men stood, shaking the stiffness from their legs, before sliding the books back onto the shelves around them and heading out of the library.

 

The cold wind attacked them as soon as they walked through the doors, blowing the edges of Victor’s coat skyward and ruffling Yuuri’s hair with icy fingers. They looked at each other and shivered.

 

‘Which way?’ Yuuri asked, and Victor pointed straight ahead, pulling his coat collar further up and shoving his hands into his pockets.

 

‘It’s not too far.’

 

Yuuri smiled to himself as they walked. The connected feeling he had experienced earlier between himself and Victor only seemed to be getting stronger, it felt to Yuuri as if they had been friends for weeks, rather than a couple of days. He watched the snow crunching under his feet, throwing up shards of ice that glinted in the low winter sunlight. A loud click from beside him jolted Yuuri from his thoughts, and he stopped to see Victor’s face partially covered by his camera.

 

‘Oh that’s a lovely picture!’ he said brightly and turned the screen to show Yuuri, who blinked in surprise as he stood there.

 

‘It’s… me?’ he stated simply. Victor nodded vigorously and grinned.

 

The photo was a simple shot – a close up of Yuuri walking through the snow, head bent against the chill and scarf pulled over his mouth, but it was the subtle aspects that made Yuuri lean in for a closer look. The bright light of the sun rippled through his hair, shining gold onto the black and highlighting the specs of snow that had fallen across his shoulders. His cheeks were red from the cold, and his eyes crinkled at the corners where he had been smiling to himself.

 

‘Isn’t it nice?’ Victor prompted, smiling brighter still. Yuuri was silent for a moment before replying.

 

‘I-I guess,’ Yuuri said, unsure, ‘the colours are nice.’

 

‘No,’ Victor tapped the screen and smiled softly, ‘I meant you.’

 

_Oh._

‘You look really happy,’ Victor continued as Yuuri stood there, face red with shock, ‘what were you thinking about?’

 

‘O-oh.’

 

_What should I say?_ He thought. _‘I was smiling like an idiot because I was thinking about you, Victor?’_

‘I was just, you know, thinking about…’ he racked his brain for the right response, and blurted out, ‘ballet shoes! I was thinking about ballet shoes.’

 

Victor looked taken aback, he frowned and opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again. An awkward few seconds passed where Yuuri screamed at himself inside his own head, and Victor’s mouth opened and closed like a fish.

 

‘I need some new ones, I-I was just thinking about which to get…’ Yuuri trailed off, refusing to meet Victor’s eyes. They both stood in the gently falling snow, shivering for another full minute before Victor shook his head and the familiar smile fell back into place.

 

‘Well, it’s Christmas soon,’ Victor said slowly, ‘perhaps you can ask for some?’

 

‘Yeah, yeah I suppose so.’ They began walking again, the silence between them filled by crunching snow and far off shouts of other students across campus.

 

‘Yuuri?’ Victor asked a little while later, ‘are you going home for Christmas?’

 

Yuuri looked up, wondering what had made Victor ask. He shook his head.

 

‘Not this year, I can’t really afford it. Why do you ask?’

 

Victor shrugged, ‘just curious.’

 

‘What about you?’ Yuuri asked. Victor leaned his head back and sighed through his nose. Yuuri watched his breath float up into the white sky.

 

‘No, I’m staying this year.’ He seemed to think of something and looked back to Yuuri. ‘Maybe we could meet, if you’re not busy that is. They’re supposed to be organising some kind of festival for the students, I bet I could get some nice photos.’

 

Yuuri buried his face into his scarf again and smiled.

 

‘Yeah,’ he nodded, grinning at the snowy path, ‘that would be nice.’

 

‘Don’t make other plans then,’ Victor laughed, and poked Yuuri in the arm playfully. Yuuri looked up at him and smiled.

 

‘Don’t worry, I won’t.’

 

‘Ah,’ Victor sighed, ‘this is my building.’ He gestured to a large brown brick monstrosity to the right of the path and they stopped. ‘Sorry Yuuri, but I’ll have to leave you here.’

 

‘Oh, okay,’ Yuuri tried to keep the disappointment from his voice.

 

‘Actually,’ Victor pulled his phone out of his pocket and pointed it at Yuuri, ‘let’s exchange numbers, then it’ll be easier to meet again!’

 

Yuuri swore to whatever deity that was listening that he would never get used to this man. Carefully, he took Victor’s phone from the man’s outstretched hand, and pulled his own out of his pocket. He handed it to Victor who immediately cooed at Yuuri’s home screen picture.

 

‘Ooh! Who’s this?’ he asked, pointing at the photo of Yuuri and Phichit wearing brightly coloured party hats.

 

‘That’s Phichit, my roommate. He took that on my birthday.’ Yuuri looked down at Victor’s phone to see the fluffy face of a beige poodle staring back at him.

 

‘That’s Makkachin.’ Victor explained, leaning over Yuuri’s shoulder. ‘My dog, he lives in my apartment with me.’

 

‘You don’t live on campus?’ Yuuri asked, surprised.

 

‘No, not far away though.’

 

Yuuri clicked on the contacts icon and entered his name and number before swapping phones with Victor.

 

‘There we go!’ Victor said happily, tucking his phone back into his pocket. ‘Now we can talk whenever we like!’ He stepped off the back and in the direction of the large building. ‘I’ll really have to go now Yuuri, but I’ll see you soon!’ He raised a hand in a cheerful wave before turning around and striding up to the entrance. Yuuri watched him disappear through the doors before looking down at his phone. Victor had saved his name with a small ᵔᴥᵔ next to it, and Yuuri could not stop the immediate smile that took over his face. _This man_ , he thought, and let out a heavy breath before shaking his head and continuing down the path.

 

Barely ten seconds had passed before he felt a buzz in his pocket and opened his phone to a message.

**_Victor ᵔᴥᵔ :_ **

**Enjoy the rest of your day, Yuuri!!!**

Yuuri laughed and sent a quick reply before shoving his hands into his pockets and quickening his pace down the path, grinning to himself all the while.

 

**_Yuuri :_ **

**You too, Victor : )**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is all I ever say but Sorry It's Late!!!! I honestly intended to update a week ago but Life. It's very late and I have work in the morning but I just wanted to get this out so I apologise for the mistakes. I hope you enjoy and thank for for all the lovely responses so far!!! Thanks for reading :D

Over the next couple of weeks Yuuri and Victor met whenever their timetables allowed. As the snow outside began to fall more thickly and storefronts started to compete against each other with festive decorations, the two men found themselves more often than not cooped up in a corner of the library, surrounded by open books and empty coffee cups. When they weren’t together Yuuri’s phone was never silent – Victor always had something he needed to tell Yuuri it seemed, from a simple _‘good morning!’_ to the time he’d dropped his camera’s memory card into a bowl of cereal and sent incomprehensible messages for half an hour before Yuuri managed to remind him that he’d saved a backup file on Yuuri’s laptop.  On this particular Wednesday afternoon, Victor had brought with him a large fluffy white blanket and, ignoring the questioning looks from the other students, had wrapped it around himself in their favourite studying corner of the library.

 

_‘Victor_ ,’ Yuuri whispered loudly after being ignored for the fifth time. There was an answering mumble from the white bundle and Yuuri rubbed his sore eyes in frustration. ‘You can’t hide in there all day. I found you another book on framing.’

 

There was a dramatic sigh and Victor whipped the blanket away from his face. Dark circles rested under his eyes and his hair was as dishevelled as Yuuri had ever seen it. A strand fell into his face and the man puffed it away with an irritated breath. Yuuri laughed at his scowl and shuffled in closer.

 

‘Here,’ he said, and shoved the book into Victor’s chest before grabbing a corner of the blanket and pulling half around his own shoulders. Victor let out a grunt as the hardback volume landed onto his lap.

 

‘But _Yuuri_ , he whined.

 

‘But nothing,’ Yuuri countered immediately. He pulled his laptop toward him and leaned back against the wall. ‘All you’ve done in the last twenty minutes is underline the word ‘ideas’ in your notebook and sigh.’ He leaned over and tapped the book, ‘I had a look through and there are a lot of photos that look similar to what you take, I thought it would help.’

 

There was silence for a few seconds as Victor stared at the book in front of him. Eventually he shuffled into a straighter sitting position and began to turn the pages.

 

‘Thank you, Yuuri.’

 

Yuuri smiled but said nothing as he watched Victor begin to study the examples, brow furrowing in thought. He opened the video file Victor had taken of his dance yet again and pressed play. As the music whispered out of the speakers, barely even audible, and Yuuri scribbled note after note down in his book he failed to notice Victor watching out of the corner of his eye, soft smile on his face and a hint of red on his cheeks.

 

Around an hour later, Yuuri put down his pen and tried to turn the page of his notebook, but found his right arm weighed down by something heavy. He turned to his left to see a head of silver hair resting against his shoulder. Victor was breathing deeply and Yuuri watched the blanket rise and fall with the movements of the man’s chest. He opened his mouth to whisper his sleeping friend awake, but the man shuffled and wrapped a hand around Yuuri’s arm as if he knew he was about to be moved, and the words died in Yuuri’s mouth.

 

Yuuri picked up his notebook with his free hand and placed it next to him on the floor before pulling his laptop closer and minimising the video. The documents file was open, handfuls of different folders titled with various research topics and links spewed across the screen. In amongst them was the file Victor had saved to Yuuri’s computer a few days previously. It stood out among the others as Victor had, to Yuuri’s dismay, named it ‘VICTORS MASTER WORKS’ with approximately seventeen exclamation marks afterwards and threatened Yuuri with death if he changed it. Yuuri opened it up and shot Victor a sideways glance. He’d opened the folder several times before to study the recording of his dance, but had never looked at any of the other stuff in there. After making sure his friend was still sleeping, Yuuri clicked on a file called ‘Portfolio Ideas’ and was met with at least two hundred images in a long list. He glanced to his side again before opening the first of the photos and beginning to scroll through.

 

The man Yuuri had come to know had always seemed eccentric and overly passionate about the things he took an interest in. Yuuri very rarely encountered him in any sort of calm mood - the man was more often than not dragging Yuuri around to show him something ‘completely amazing’ with that wide smile on his face and that bright light in his eyes. The first photo Yuuri opened was of a lake at sunset. The orange shine of the fading glow reflected off the surface of the water and threw dying light onto the trees and fields surrounding it. The sky was the brightest blue, dissolving into vibrant amber as it met the horizon and blanketed the distant trees into deep shadow. It wasn’t the beauty of the image that made Yuuri’s eyes grow big and the breath catch in his throat, it was the serenity of it. It was the gentleness of the atmosphere that flowed forth from his laptop screen and calmed his pulse to a steady rhythm of tranquillity. It was the slowly dawning knowledge that such a peaceful scene could have been captured by such an extravagant person that made Yuuri take a second look at the man sleeping beside him.

 

He tried to picture how Victor might have looked behind the camera. He thought of the time in the dance studio when Yuuri had watched him capturing what the morning light revealed. The man had been silent, wholly focused on the scene in front of him, oblivious to any other factor of life. Yuuri clicked onto the next photo. This time it was a close up shot of an ant walking along a small stick, and again Yuuri was thrown. Victor came across as someone who moved on very quickly, always finding something new and interesting to take his attention, so how had he noticed this tiny little creature moving through life so unnoticed? The more photographs Yuuri looked at, the more he realised how little he knew of the man beside him, and really, how much _more_ he wanted to know.

 

There was a sudden shift beside him and a loud sigh. Yuuri quickly snapped his laptop shut and threw it to one side.

 

‘.. _uri_?’

 

Yuuri jumped at the confused mumble and tried to look as though he hadn’t just been snooping through Victor’s university work and having an internal crisis.

 

‘..time is it?’ Victor sat up and scratched the back of his head before yawning loudly and stretching. His jumper rode up as he raised his arms and Yuuri felt his face heat up at the sight of bare skin. He blinked several times and fumbled for his phone.

 

‘I-it’s, ah, almost four.’ He kicked himself internally. _Get a grip!_

 

‘Four?’ Victor turned to Yuuri and looked at the pile of scattered books around them. ‘We’ve been here all afternoon, aren’t you hungry?’ He looked genuinely remorseful and Yuuri clasped his hands together awkwardly.

 

‘Well I, uh, it’s just… I didn’t want to wake you.’

 

‘Nonsense, Yuuri!’ Seemingly rid of all tiredness, Victor jumped to his feet and ran a hand through his hair, smoothing away the mess. Yuuri couldn’t suppress a sinking feeling at the sight. Victor looked strangely cute when he’d just woken up. Yuuri pinched himself and shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of the invasive thoughts.

 

‘Are you okay?’ Victors head was to the side, a frown on his face. Yuuri didn’t answer for a few seconds. He watched a strand of hair fall down across Victor’s eye, and followed the movement of his fingers as he brushed it away. His mind drifted to the atmosphere of the photographs and then back to the man standing in front of him. There was something almost entrancing about them both, and Yuuri would be damned if he didn’t find out what it was.

 

‘Yuuri?’ Victor held out a hand. ‘Come on, let’s go and eat.’

 

Yuuri looked at the hand outstretched towards him dumbly for a few seconds before snapping out of it and reaching up to take hold. Victor pulled Yuuri to his feet with surprising strength, and Yuuri barely had time to notice how warm the man’s skin was before his coat was being thrown in his direction.

 

‘There’s a good chicken place not far from campus, or the pizzeria opposite my apartment?’ Victor gathered his things as he spoke, trying to cram all the books he needed into one bag. Yuuri felt his stomach turn at the thought of pizza.

 

‘Chicken sounds good to me,’ he said, bending down to pack away his laptop. Victor turned around briefly with a smile on his face.

 

‘Chicken it is!’

 

* * *

 

Just over an hour later, the two men found themselves in front of two steaming plates of fried chicken, watching the snow fall outside. Victor took a sip from his water and looked out at the sky.

 

‘It’s one of my favourite things to photograph, snow.’

 

Yuuri looked up from his spicy chicken wing, sauce dribbling down his chin attractively, and hummed in question.

 

‘Snowflakes in particular.’ He twirled his fork around in the air as he explained. ‘They exist for such a short amount of time. When you catch one in your hand it vanishes in seconds, but if you take a picture of one, you can keep it forever. In a way.’

 

Yuuri picked up a napkin and wiped the sauce from his mouth. Victor was still staring out of the window, a faraway look on his face. _Perhaps that’s what he looks like?_ Yuuri thought.

 

‘It’s why I love photography.’

 

Yuuri remained silent, watching the reflections of the streetlamps dance in the other man’s eyes.

 

‘When you take a picture of something, you can keep it forever, even when that thing has long since disappeared.’ He stopped twirling the fork, lost in thought.

 

‘Did you loose something you wanted to keep?’ Yuuri asked before he could think, and Victor’s gaze moved from the snowflakes on the window to Yuuri. There was something sad in his eyes that hadn’t been there before, and Yuuri hoped quickly that he hadn’t crossed a line.

 

‘Mm,’ he nodded slowly, a gentle smile on his face, ‘but our memory is always there for the times when we don’t have a camera.’ He rested his chin in his hand and didn’t drop his gaze from Yuuri’s face. ‘Since I was little, if I wanted very much to remember something, I pretended that my eyes were cameras, and if I did this,’ he blinked very prominently twice, ‘then it was the same as taking a photo like normal, but this time it stays inside your head.’ Victor tapped his temple and smiled across at Yuuri.

 

Oh. _Oh._

 

Yuuri watched Victor turn back to the window. The headlights of a passing car shone through the glass and turned the other man’s hair white for a fragment of a second. It lit up the gold on the zip of his coat, the red across the top of his ears, and the shine in his eyes that seemed more pronounced than before. Yuuri put down the napkin and focused on Victor. He blinked very prominently, twice.

 

* * * 

 

‘You’re not getting that, it’s hideous.’

 

Yuuri looked up from the bobbly green jumper he was holding to see Phichit’s disgusted expression and laughed.

 

‘It’s really soft though,’ he held it out towards his friend, who backed off slightly, ‘feel it, I bet it’s comfy’.

 

‘You’re right, actually,’ Phichit smirked, ‘it would look very nice.’

 

‘See, I tol-‘

 

‘On a fire.’

 

Yuuri groaned and placed the jumper back on the shelf, ignoring his friend’s cackling.

 

The two left the store and trudged along the snowy pavement. The town centre was bustling with life; everywhere they looked there were stalls selling seasonal foods and decorations, children running about with flashing reindeer headbands and bags of sweets, frantic last minute shoppers with arms full of bags, and several street performers blasting their music above the noise of the crowds. They passed a stall selling knitted items and Yuuri stopped abruptly.

 

Hanging from the canopy of the little shop was a string of gloves in various colours, Yuuri reached up and unhooked a pair of black ones. He turned the soft wool over in his hands and looked at the price tag.

 

‘Can I help you there?’

 

Yuuri looked up to see the stall owner, a short, stout lady wearing what looked to be a giant knitted Christmas tree with complete flashing lights on her head.

 

‘Oh, I’m, uh, just looking for some gloves.’ He held up the pair in his hand and the lady nodded.

 

‘Take your time.’ She moved to assist a young woman at the other side of the stall and Yuuri looked back up at the gloves on display.

 

A pair at the very top caught his eye and he immediately reached up to unhook them, putting the black ones back. They were grey with a glittery silver thread interwoven all over so that as Yuuri turned them over, they caught the light and shone brightly. Yuuri wasn’t sure if he and Victor were at the point of buying each other Christmas presents yet, and frowned in thought when he was suddenly grabbed by both shoulders and whipped around to see Phichit’s face.

 

‘I thought I’d lost you!’ his friend scolded, ‘do you know how long I walked down this street talking to myself before I noticed you’d gone?’ He ruffled Yuuri’s hair and sighed before catching sight of the gloves in Yuuri’s hands. ‘Oh! Who are those for?’

 

‘Hold on, I haven’t even bought them yet.’ He pulled out his wallet and walked over to the stall lady. She smiled down at him as he handed over the right change.

 

‘Thank you dear, you have a good Christmas now.’

 

Yuuri smiled back and nodded as he tucked the gloves into his pocket. When he turned back to Phichit, the man was smirking at him, one eyebrow raised.

 

‘Well well, _Yuuri_ , buying each other gifts already? What’s it been, three weeks?’

 

‘Three and a half.’

 

Phichit laughed loudly and slapped Yuuri on the back.

 

‘You’re keeping count, you’re precious.’

 

Yuuri scowled and wriggled away from Phichit’s hand.

 

‘It’s just a present, if you’re going to tease I’ll give yours to someone else,’ Yuuri said, straight faced, and started walking again.

 

‘You’d never do that,’ Phichit said confidently, jogging to catch up quickly, ‘I’m your best friend.’

 

‘I might demote you if you’re not careful,’ Yuuri looked at Phichit and grinned. Phichit put a hand over his heart and faked hurt.

 

‘I’m pained that you’d even think of such a thing, Yuuri.’

 

Yuuri snorted with laughter and bumped shoulders with him.

 

‘Come on, I’m freezing, lets go sit inside somewhere so I can remember what warmth is.’

 

* * *

 

‘I meant to ask earlier,’ Phichit piped up, and Yuuri looked up from his hot chocolate. ‘I’ve been invited to a party this Friday and I can bring people with me if you want to come?’

 

They were sitting in one of the hundreds of cafes along the main street of town, watching the shoppers outside struggle past.

 

‘Oh?’ Yuuri wrapped his hands around his mug. ‘Where at?’

 

‘One of my friend’s places, from my photography class. It’s only a small get together before everyone goes home for the holidays.’ Phichit stirred his spoon around in whatever extravagant concoction he’d ordered. ‘I know parties aren’t really your thing, but I didn’t want to leave you out.’

 

Yuuri looked down and watched the steam rise from his drink. It was true, he had never been one to frequent any kind of social event involving loud music and lots of people aside from his dance shows. The thought made him uncomfortable. He tapped his fingers on the sides on the mug and took a deep breath. Just once wouldn’t hurt though, right? It was chance to spend some more time with his best friend before he left for the holidays anyway.

 

‘Yeah,’ he said. Phichit looked up in shock.

 

‘Really?’

 

‘Why not, it’s Christmas soon.’

 

Yuuri thought Phichit was going to spontaneously combust, his entire face lit up as he slammed a hand down on the table in excitement, startling the people nearby.

 

‘Finally!’ He clasped his hand into a fist and shook it slightly. ‘I got Yuuri Katsuki to come to a college party!’

 

Yuuri studied the elated look on his friend’s face and began to wonder with dawning horror that he might have just made the biggest mistake of his life.

 

* * *

 

Later that night Yuuri was slumped across his bed, scrolling through image searches of various landscape photography when his phone suddenly began to buzz violently and he had to stop himself from launching out of the open window in fright. Clumsily he sat up and looked at the caller ID. _Of course._

 

‘Hi Victor.’

 

_‘Yuuri! Silver or red?’_

 

Yuuri blinked.

 

‘What?’

 

_‘Choose, silver or red?’_

 

‘Uh,’ he paused and took the phone away from his ear. Victor’s grinning face filled the screen, with a small green phone icon in the top right corner. He’d stolen Yuuri’s phone and taken the picture during one of Yuuri’s practise sessions, then lay on the ground for six minutes pretending to be deeply hurt after Yuuri told him the lighting was off.

 

_‘…uuri? Are you there?’_

 

Yuuri jumped and shoved the phone quickly back against his ear.

 

‘Y-yes! Sorry!’

 

_‘Which is it?’_

Yuuri thought for a second, then smiled sheepishly, face red even though he knew Victor couldn’t possibly see him.

 

‘Silver.’

 

_‘Got it, see you later!’_

 

‘Victor wai-‘

 

There was a click and a drawn out beep.

 

‘He hung up on me!’ Yuuri huffed and fell back against his pillows, holding his phone in the air above him. Victor’s contact photo now showed a ‘call ended’ icon and Yuuri rolled his eyes. God only knew what he was up to this time.

 

He caught himself staring at the photo for longer than what was probably considered normal, and began to study Victor’s features more deeply. The man had an almost sharp face with a prominent jaw line, but his smile made his expression soft. As Yuuri lowered the phone closer he picked out a very slight tint of red across the man’s cheeks. The cold suited him, he thought. That first day in the snow, it had suited him then. His silver hair against the bright white. His pale blue eyes and the flake-filled sky. He was to Yuuri more like the subject of a photograph, rather than the one behind the camera.

 

Yuuri tucked his phone close to his chest and turned over. As he closed his eyes and gently fell into sleep, the rhythmic beating of his heart against his hands morphed into the sound of a clicking shutter, and from the darkness behind his eyelids formed the face of a man with a soft smile and hair like the first frost of winter. The feelings Yuuri held for his newest friend gathered like snowfall overnight. When he woke the next morning, what had before been a light dusting was now a heavy blanket, and, as he came to realise, one that would not so easily thaw.  


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finding time to write is difficult but I hope the length of this chapter makes up for the wait? Thank you to everyone who has been supporting this fic, I can't say it enough, the comments are all lovely so thank you again! Hope you enjoy!

Yuuri spent the entirety of Friday afternoon either standing in front of his open wardrobe, or lying face down on his bed. During one of the instances where he was attempting to drown himself in his own duvet, his phone buzzed aggressively, and he surfaced from the blankets to see several messages from Victor appearing on the screen.

 

**_Victor ᵔᴥᵔ :_ **

**Yuuri!**

**_Victor ᵔᴥᵔ :_ **

**I need help!**

**_Victor ᵔᴥᵔ :_ **

**Choose for me, hold on.**

**_Victor ᵔᴥᵔ :_ **

**_You have received a photo image. Click to open._ **

 

Yuuri sat up and rolled his eyes before clicking on the link. The screen went dark and a small loading icon appeared in the centre. Victor had been texting him on and off all day, apparently he had also been invited to a party by one of his classmates. This gave Yuuri a faint feeling of foreboding and was namely the reason why he had been deliberating over what to wear for the best part of the day. It wasn’t anything fancy, Phichit had assured him, so he didn’t want to go too overdressed, but he also didn’t want to be the only one there in jeans and a jumper.

 

The image finally loaded and Yuuri almost sobbed out loud. This was _so unfair._ After his abrupt and rather unwelcome epiphany that yes, he did indeed find his newest friend unfairly attractive and had approximately zero ideas of what to do with the realisation, the picture that Victor had sent was like a punch to the stomach. It was a selfie of Victor wearing a medium length grey coat. To any sane person, that would be all it was, but to Yuuri, it was the way the material rolled over his shoulders and pinched in slightly at the waist. The way Victor was leaning his weight to one side and had one hand resting into a pocket while the other held his phone. Things that now, Yuuri found unreasonably handsome. And very irritating.

**_Victor ᵔᴥᵔ :_ **

**Or this one.**

**_Victor ᵔᴥᵔ :_ **

**_You have received a photo image. Click to open._ **

 

Yuuri grabbed a handful of his duvet and quietly screamed into it when he opened the next image. He was going to murder Victor Nikiforov. This coat was a shorter version, navy blue with a high collar, and this time his friend’s face wasn’t blocked by the phone. Victor was standing in the same pose as before (had he had model training or something?) with a smirk on his face and one eyebrow raised. Yuuri didn’t know whether he wanted to punch Victor, or grab him by that stupidly attractive coat and kiss him.

 

* * *

 

‘Yuuri come on! We’ll be late!’

 

There was a muffled thump from inside Yuuri’s bedroom and Phichit dragged his hands down his face.

 

‘Breathe, Phichit,’ he whispered to himself.

 

There was a click and Yuuri’s door slowly fell open a crack.

 

‘Don’t laugh!’ Yuuri yelled immediately.

 

‘Yuuri I can’t even see you yet, open the door properly.’

 

Yuuri pulled the door open fully and stepped out into the hallway. If he had been a weaker man, Phichit would have fallen to his knees and sent thanks to every deity in his knowledge that his friend had finally developed a sense of fashion. Instead he gathered his shock, stuffed it away to deal with later, and grinned wider than he had all week.

 

Yuuri had replaced his usually bobbly jumpers with a dark blue collared sweater, and his nicest pair of black jeans. What was probably the most striking difference however was the fact that he had swapped his glasses for contacts, and slicked his hair back. Yuuri stood nervously, picking at the sleeve of the sweater and looking anywhere but at his friend’s face.

 

‘You make your mother proud,’ Phichit cackled and grabbed Yuuri’s arm, ‘but seriously we really are going to be late.’

 

‘Phichit, I-I think actually I might have a stomach ache-‘ Yuuri squealed as Phichit threw his shoes at him and wrenched open the front door.

 

‘Yuuri Katsuki if you ditch me now I will not be held responsible for my actions.’

 

Yuuri froze and paled at the sudden serious expression on the other man’s face, and immediately pulled on his shoes before rushing out of the apartment.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri arrived at the party with a very cold nose and an intense urge to strangle his past self. The party was being held in one of the campus halls – a common space used to host fundraising events and other social gatherings, and it was absolutely packed.

 

‘Phichit,’ Yuuri tugged on his friend’s arm, ‘I thought you said it was just your photography class…’

 

‘Well, they’re all here, but they bought friends along like I did.’ Phichit turned to Yuuri and placed a hand on each of his shoulders. ‘It’ll be fine, you really don’t need to worry, I’ll introduce you to some of my classmates, come on.’

 

‘Wha-‘

 

Yuuri’s yelp of surprise was cut of when Phichit grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the building. Yuuri could feel the music pumping under his feet as they reached the huge double doors of the hall. The snow had been stamped to mush around the entrance, and Yuuri winced as he felt it start to seep through the material of his shoes. Phichit pushed open the door and ushered Yuuri inside, muttering about the cold and how he hoped they were serving hot food. The bright interior light blasted directly into Yuuri’s eyes as they entered and he raised a hand to shield his face. He heard Phichit’s voice in his ear but couldn’t make out what he was saying over the roaring music. Blinking, he lowered his hand to see the room crushed with students, laughing and dancing, phones held aloft. To be honest, he’d expected worse.

 

‘Yuuri!’

 

Yuuri looked around, standing on his tiptoes to try and find out where his name was being called from.

 

‘Yuuri!’

 

Yuuri squeaked as Phichit appeared in front of him and grabbed his arm again. ‘Come on! Meet my friends.’

 

Yuuri let himself be pulled across the floor, following Phichit who somehow managed to weave in and out of the crowds with surprising finesse, and wondering for the sixteenth time in the last hour why he’d agreed to come.

 

The next half an hour was a blur of faces and names that Yuuri was certain he’d forget before the end of the night. Yuuri tried his best to keep up but felt himself becoming increasingly overwhelmed by the thrumming music and bright lights of the party. Phichit managed to disappear again in record speed – a trick that Yuuri would absolutely make him suffer for afterwards, and a short young man with a red streak through his hair whose name Yuuri had already forgotten began tugging on the sleeve of his jumper and probing him with questions about his dancing with wide eyes and a flush on his cheeks.

 

‘Come on! It’s a party! You gotta show us some moves!’ He giggled and looked up at Yuuri expectantly.

 

‘W-well, I, uh,’ Yuuri stuttered, trying to subtly find the nearest door without seeming rude, ‘maybe later, I need a, uh, drink first.’ He pointed in a random direction and smiled nervously.

 

‘Oh yeah! Sure!’

 

Yuuri offered an awkward wave to the man and slipped into the crowd. After years of dance Yuuri was blissfully quick on his feet and managed to weave through the mass of students with little trouble. He _might_ have trodden on someone’s foot and then knocked someone’s drink to the floor after hearing a loud ‘what the _fuck_?’ from a large, muscular-looking man, but aside from that he escaped to the edge of the room unharmed. Some of the person’s drink had spilled onto the sleeve of his jumper and he winced at the cold liquid that seeped through the material.

 

There was a long table against the wall covered in fizzy drinks and juices, though most had barely been touched. Yuuri would bet his grades that the majority of people had instead brought along their own choice of refreshments. As he was searching for the door, the DJ at the front of the room screamed something unintelligible into the microphone and the crowd of students began to roar back, jostling each other and jumping up and down. Yuuri blinked. He most definitely did not want to meet his end in a large room filled with half-drunk, wailing college students, and made the firm decision to get the hell out of there immediately right this minute.

 

He followed the table down to the end of the room where a small green sign blinked the words ‘Fire Exit’ on and off, muttering ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry, sorry’ repeatedly, until at last he arrived at the door and pushed down on the bar to swing it open. The chill of the night air rushed through his hair and into his clothes and Yuuri breathed it in deeply. He stepped out onto the snow and let the door bang shut behind him. The silence was incredible. There was still the muted thrum of the baseline from inside that reverberated through the ground underneath Yuuri’s feet, but the space in front of him was blissfully free of writhing, sweaty students. The rear entrance of the hall was undisturbed, the snow still lying in a heavy sheet and not another person in sight. He sighed and closed his eyes, feeling the icy wind brush its fingers across his face, then shrieked in fright when the door behind him crashed open and someone jumped out, barging straight into him from behind and sending them both flailing into the snow. Yuuri felt the breath knocked out of him as he landed with a hard thump, feeling the weight of the other pressing him down.

 

‘Sorry sorry sorry!’ The person’s speech was muffled in the back of Yuuri’s coat, but he’d know that voice anywhere.

 

‘Victor!’ Yuuri grunted, shoved the other man away, and clambered to his feet, brushing the snow from his clothes and regarding his friend with wide eyes. ‘What the _hell_?’

 

Victor simply grinned up at him from where he sat.

 

‘Yuuuuriiiii,’ he sang, and, to Yuuri’s dismay, giggled.

 

‘You _have_ to be joking.’ Yuuri ran a hand down his face and groaned. ‘Come on, get out of the snow.’ He reached out with both hands and grabbed on tightly to Victor’s arms. ‘On three, okay? One, two, three!’

 

Yuuri heaved with all his might and helped Victor pull himself to his feet, melting snow dripping from the corners of his coat sleeves and running cold onto Yuuri’s skin. Yuuri shivered but didn’t let go of Victor’s arms. It was only when Yuuri noticed the snowflake clinging to Victor’s eyelashes that he realised how close the other man was and felt the skin of his neck begin to warm, even in the face of the cold wind. Victor’s smile faded slowly from his face as he regarded Yuuri, face flushed from a mixture of whatever he’d been drinking and the winter air. Yuuri held his breath as he watched differing emotions flick across the man’s features. His grip tightened around Victor’s wrists when he saw his eyes flick down to Yuuri’s mouth and back up again. He could smell the drink on Victor’s breath, sweet and sharp as the visible puffs of air rose up in the tiny space between their faces. He was _so close_. Yuuri’s mind was screaming at him to do something, _anything_ , and when Victor slowly began to tilt his head to the side and lean closer, he snapped out of it. God knew he wanted it, but not like this, not now.

 

‘V-Victor!’ Yuuri snatched his hands back and pushed them against Victor’s chest, forcing space between them and taking a step back.

 

Victor looked down at him like a child who’d been told to sit in the corner, and Yuuri felt something in his chest snap.

 

‘Victor,’ he tried again, doing his best to reel in the tremor in his voice, ‘you’re drunk, it’s snowing, I’m cold, and… and you’re drunk.’

 

Victor frowned. ‘Yes.’ He said, after a moment of what looked like deep thought.

 

‘We both need to go home.’

 

Another pause.

 

‘Yes.’

 

Neither man moved.

 

‘I mean now.’ Yuuri looked up at Victor expectantly, but his friend continued to stare blankly. Yuuri opened his mouth to ask if Victor had understood a word of what he’d just said, but snapped it shut when Victor reached up and trailed a finger across Yuuri’s bottom lip.

 

‘Yuuri?’ he said, ‘can I tell you a secret?’

 

Yuuri barely heard him over the screaming inside his own head.

 

‘U-uh, yes, you can tell me a secret.’

 

Victor smiled warmly and leaned in to Yuuri’s shoulder before whispering right into his ear.

 

‘You look very pretty tonight.’

 

There was total, absolute silence for at least twelve seconds before Yuuri realised that, no, he had not died and ascended to whichever form of paradisiacal afterlife existed, and yes, the man he had an indisputable crush on had just seductively whispered a compliment against the skin of his neck while half drunk standing in a snowy alley on one of the coldest nights of the year. He swore he heard his own brain ticking over and blinked stupidly as Victor leaned back and giggled at him again.

 

‘You should wear your hair like that more,’ Victor said in a serious voice, frowning endearingly, ‘it’s very handsome.’

 

‘O-okay, well i-if… uh, wh-what I mean is, uh,’ Yuuri took a deep breath and gathered himself, ‘I think if we stand here any longer we might both freeze and I really don’t want to spend Christmas in the hospital.’

 

Victor nodded seriously, as though he’d come to a very important decision.

 

‘Absolutely not, the food is terrible.’

 

Yuuri stifled a laugh, now that he’d gotten over the shock, drunk Victor was highly amusing.

 

‘I’ll walk you home, I don’t trust you by yourself when you’re like this.’

 

Victor nodded again, before smirking and waggling his eyebrows in the most ridiculous manner.

 

‘Oh Yuuri! How romantic!’

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes. Correction, drunk Victor was perhaps more annoying than sober Victor.

 

‘Let’s just go, I can’t feel my feet.’

 

He turned to walk out of the alley with Victor happily trotting along next to him, and Yuuri wished with all he had that he’d thought to bring a coat.

 

* * *

 

As they walked through the night’s empty streets, Victor began to hum to himself. It was a sad melody, and Yuuri found himself lost in the tune. The cold air had seemed to sober him slightly – he’d stopped randomly chuckling to himself and didn’t stumble quite as much.

 

‘Victor?’ Yuuri asked quietly, after the humming had subsided.

 

Victor turned to him.

 

‘What were you singing?’

 

‘I’m not sure really. Something from when I was little I think. Maybe it was a song, but I don’t know any of the words.’

 

‘Oh.’

 

Victors tone had turned sad, and Yuuri watched his face. He thought back to the night in the restaurant. He had had the same look then, a memory perhaps, Yuuri thought to himself.

 

They turned a corner and Yuuri stepped onto a particularly slushy segment of snow. His foot slipped and he felt himself topple to the side, but a hand grabbed onto his and pulled him steady.

 

‘Careful Yuuri,’ Victor giggled again as he held onto his arm, ‘I thought I was supposed to be the drunk one.’

 

‘Very funny,’ Yuuri huffed. ‘How much further is it?’

 

‘Not far,’ he sang.

 

When Victor started walking again, Yuuri was pulled along with him. He looked down to see Victor’s hand still grasped securely around his wrist, and was about to pull away when he felt the other man’s fingertips trail very lightly down across the palm of his hand and tentatively push into the spaces between his own fingers. He glanced up at Victor, but he was stubbornly focused on the space ahead of him. Yuuri looked down at the pavement and couldn’t help the smile that bloomed when he allowed Victor’s fingers to push through the gaps of his own and curl gently around to rest across his knuckles. After a few more steps, Yuuri let himself relax and carefully strengthened his grip. Victor rubbed a thumb across his skin in answer and the warmth from his touch spread all the way down to Yuuri’s toes.

 

The journey was at once too short and not short enough. Yuuri was well aware of how sweaty his hand was, even in the cold of the night, but this didn’t stop the deep sinking feeling he felt in his stomach when the two arrived at a large grey block of apartments and Victor let their hands drop away.

 

The building had very obviously seen better days – towering grey, concrete walls made up the face of the block, with small pinhole windows dotted at regular intervals. In many places the concrete was falling away to expose the brickwork underneath, and Yuuri counted three cracked windows.

 

‘Is this…?’ he began.

 

‘Yep.’  Victor sounded more cheerful than he looked.

 

‘It’s, uh, very-‘

 

‘It’s a shithole, but it’s cheap enough and close enough, so it works for me.’

 

Yuuri realised this was the first time he’d heard Victor curse. It sounded strange.

 

There was a loud crash as a large, balding man came stumbling out of the front doors. He looked to be in his mid-forties, on the rear end of a mid-life crisis, and substantially intoxicated.

 

‘Victor!’ he slurred from across the pavement, and waved a hand in greeting.

 

Victor grimaced and waved back. ‘Hello Craig.’

 

Craig grinned, showing off the spaces where his teeth should have been, before tripping over his own feet and crashing into the hedge that marked the perimeter of the block. There was silence for a few seconds, before a large snore-like grunt sounded from the hedge.

 

‘Should, uh, we help him?’ Yuuri stepped slightly closer to Victor.

 

‘Hmm.’

 

Yuuri looked up to see Victor deep in thought, staring at the hole in the hedge where Craig now seemed to be sleeping. Yuuri sighed.

 

‘Come on, you need to go to bed,’ Yuuri grabbed Victor by the arm and pulled him gently toward the front doors. As they entered the building, Yuuri was hit by an overpowering smell of old wallpaper and damp, and wrinkled his nose in disgust. Yet again, he was struck by the realisation that there was so much to Victor that he didn’t know. He always seemed so… proper, and well put together. Yuuri had assumed he lived in one of the new apartments in the centre of town, all white walls and minimal furniture. That couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

 

‘Victor.’

 

‘Hmm?’

 

‘You need to tell me which door is yours.’

 

Victor stopped and turned to Yuuri. He looked very apologetic and Yuuri felt dread envelope him.

 

‘Floor twenty-two, room twelve.’ He said, and pointed at the ceiling. ‘And, um, the lift is out of order.’

 

* * *

 

By the time the two men arrived outside door twelve on the twenty-second floor, Yuuri was almost certain that his soul had left him and he had sweated out everything he’d drank in the last twenty-four hours. Victor didn’t seem to be faring much better. He fumbled around in his coat pocket for his keys, and after several attempts at trying to unlock the door, sighed and handed them to Yuuri, who had been waiting with his hand out for the last three minutes. There was a loud click and a louder groan as Yuuri turned the handle and pushed the door to Victor’s flat open.

 

Victor led the way into the darkened room, leaving Yuuri to push the door shut behind them. Yuuri could just about make out Victor’s form moving through the darkness, and stifled a laugh when there came a sudden crash and a yelp of pain. There was a click, and the room was abruptly illuminated in a soft yellow glow. Yuuri looked across the room to see Victor hunched over a table lamp, rubbing his knee.

 

Yuuri walked into the centre of the room and looked around. The apartment was tiny, but it was indisputably Victor’s. The main room tripled as a living space, bedroom, and kitchen, with one door set into the back wall which Yuuri assumed led to the bathroom. All the furniture was of a light grey and looked as though it had come straight out of a style magazine. The walls were so white Yuuri was certain Victor had re-painted them himself, and the scuffed wooden flooring was covered all over in rugs of varying sizes and shades. There was a small window on the left wall with a low bed pushed against it, and a large fluffy grey bundle in the middle that suddenly barked and leapt toward Yuuri.

 

‘Wha-!’ Yuuri had time to yell, before the ball of fluff crashed into his chest and knocked him backwards onto the sofa.

 

‘Makkachin!’ Victor laughed loudly as the dog sniffed Yuuri’s ear and pawed at his face.

 

‘Mmph!’ Yuuri puffed, a face full of grey fur. He heard Victor laugh again, closer this time, and pushed the dog off his chest. Makkachin had other ideas, though before he could jump back onto Yuuri, Victor lifted him up and deposited him on the carpet next to the sofa.

 

‘No,’ he pointed a finger at the dog and said with a mock-stern expression, ‘not kind, Makkachin.’ Makkachin seemed to understand and, ears down, skulked off to a large pillow in the corner and lay down, watching the two men dolefully.

 

‘Sorry,’ Victor said, turning to where Yuuri had sat up on the sofa, watching Makkachin with an amused expression. ‘He gets very excited to see new people.’

 

‘Don’t worry, he’s lovely,’ Yuuri smiled. Makkachin seemed to understand, as his tail thumped against his pillow in response. ‘Anyway,’ Yuuri said, getting to his feet, ‘I should go, Phichit doesn’t know I left.’

 

Victor’s face fell and Yuuri looked between the man and his dog, amused.

 

A loud bang sounded from somewhere in the corridor outside, followed by a woman screaming obscenities and an angry answering yell from another, further away. The two men looked to each other, to the door, and back again. There was another crash which sounded like glass, and Yuuri shuffled uncomfortably.

 

‘Victor, I-‘ Yuuri began, but Victor cut him off.

 

‘You can stay,’ he said quickly, then added, ‘if you want.’

 

Yuuri stared.

 

‘The sofa pulls out into a bed, I have spare clothes,’ he continued quickly, not making eye contact with Yuuri, ‘it’s late and, well, there are people around here you wouldn’t want to run into at night.’ He looked up after Yuuri remained silent for longer than normal. ‘I-if you don’t want to I-‘

 

‘Okay.’

 

Yuuri felt as surprised as Victor looked after he realised what he’d said.

 

‘O-oh,’ Victor’s eyes were wide and it took a second for him to gather himself. ‘I’ll get you some clothes and, uh, stuff.’

 

Yuuri watched as Victor got up and walked over to the grey wood cupboard next to the bed. He rummaged around before pulling out a pair of blue pyjama trousers and a black t-shirt, and deposited them on the sofa next to Yuuri.

 

‘There should be an extra toothbrush in the bathroom cupboard,’ he said, pointing at the door at the far end of the room. Yuuri noticed that he sounded a lot quieter than before, nervous almost. The thought made something in Yuuri’s chest flutter.

 

‘Thanks,’ he said, gathering up the clothes and heading to the bathroom.

 

‘Yuuri.’ Victor’s voice was small, though when he turned, back Yuuri caught the edges of a smile on the other man’s lips.

 

‘Yeah?’

 

‘Thank you for bringing me home.’ He looked at Yuuri with such honest gratefulness that Yuuri had to quickly turn away lest the man catch sight the rapidly spreading redness across his cheeks.

 

‘I-it’s fine,’ he stuttered, ‘I just wanted to make sure you got back safe.’ Without turning back, Yuuri took the two steps forward and slipped into the bathroom, closing the door softly behind him.

 

As soon as the door clicked shut, Yuuri tucked the clothes under one arm, clamped his hands over his face, and tried the hardest he ever had not to scream. He counted to ten four times, and breathed in deeply. He was stopping the night at a friend’s house, that was it. People did it all the time, nothing weird with that, nope, not at all. Aside from the fact that said friend was the object of his romantic interests and had _literally_ tried to kiss him not two hours before. Yuuri swore at himself and walked over to the sink. He found the spare toothbrush in a pot above the sink and half a tube of toothpaste next to the soap dish. He stared at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth – his hair had started to loose its grip and a few strands had fallen back across his forehead. His gaze flicked over to a crease in his collar, and he shivered when he remembered how Victor’s breath had dusted across the skin there. A thought struck him and he almost choked on toothpaste. Victor hadn’t been _that_ drunk. He’d sobered up substantially, but still he must have been aware of what he was doing before?

 

Yuuri rinsed his mouth out and watched the water swirl down into the plughole. He placed the toothbrush onto the edge of the sink and gripped the porcelain with both hands. The hand holding? The overly-obviously flirting? Victor must have known what he was doing. Yuuri was torn. Victor was a very dramatic, touchy person, Yuuri knew that much from their friendship so far. Was he reading into it too much because of his own feelings? Hell if he knew, it had been a long, trying night, and Yuuri wanted nothing more than the blissful emptiness of sleep.

 

He pulled of his jumper and not-so-elegantly wriggled out of his trousers before picking up the clothes Victor had leant him. He slipped into the trousers – two inches too long, and pulled the t-shirt over his head before realising his fatal error. The clothes, he thought, would very obviously and quite understandably, smell a lot like the man who owned them. Yuuri closed his eyes and wished for the torment to end. The fabric was soft against Yuuri’s skin. He lifted the collar of the shirt up to his nose and breathed in. It wasn’t weird, he was just… seeing if all the ‘wearing your crush’s clothes’ hype was true. Short answer – it was.

 

He tore the shirt away from his face and stared aggressively at himself in the mirror.

 

‘Get. A. Grip,’ he said, sternly, trying to ignore the constant thoughts battering themselves against the inside of his head which consisted of several variations of ‘victor’s clothes, you’re wearing victor’s clothes, oh my _god_.’

 

Yuuri left the bathroom with the resolve to control himself and act as normally as possible. He closed the door behind him and turned to see Victor leaning over the sofa bed, trying to work out the best way to place the pillows. He had also changed – navy blue pyjama trousers and a black long-sleeve top. They were both slightly too big for him and Yuuri found it overly endearing.

 

‘It’s not that comfy but it should be okay for the night,’ he explained as Yuuri walked over and dropped his clothes next to it.

 

‘Thanks.’ Yuuri said, and congratulated himself on the control of his voice.

 

‘It’s okay, I’m just-‘ Victor stopped dead when he looked up at Yuuri. His eyes gave Yuuri a full once over, then when he realised what he’d done, red bloomed brightly across the tops of his ears. ‘Y-you’re welcome,’ he managed. Yuuri didn’t miss the crack in his voice.

 

There was an awkward pause, and Yuuri gestured to the lamp on the other side of the room.

 

‘Shall I, uh..’

 

Victor glanced to where he was pointing and nodded.

 

‘Y-yeah, sure.’

 

Yuuri heard Victor whispering goodnight to Makkachin as he took the few steps across the room and clicked off the light. Slowly, arms outstretched, he felt his way back through the darkness over to where he thought the sofa bed was.

 

He stepped forward slowly and heard something move in front of him.

 

Another step and the breath was knocked out of him with a _whumphf_ as he thumped into something soft. The soft thing wrapped two arms around him and pulled him in close.

 

‘V-Victor?’ Yuuri managed, voice muffled against the fabric of Victor’s top.

 

‘Yuuri I..’ he trailed off. Yuuri waited for him to continue, and looked through the dark to where he thought Victor’s face might be.

 

‘Yuuri?’

 

‘Yeah?’ Their voices were barely above whispers, the only sound in the silence of the night.

 

‘I promise I’m not drunk.’

 

Yuuri frowned and drew in a breath to ask what he meant, but let it out in a rush when he felt Victor’s hands moved up his back, across the skin of his neck, round to cup the sides of his head, and warm lips press against his own.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so... I apologise for how long this took but my new job has kind of taken over and I really don't have the time to write anymore -_- I wrote this back in April and kept trying to go back to it but it's not gonna happen anytime soon so I think I'll have to leave it here for now... so sorry to everyone who was looking forward to reading on but I hope this somehow counts as an ending? idk, anyway, I can't thank you all enough for the supportive comments and kudos, it still means a lot even now, and hopefully I'll be able to come back to writing in the future! Thank you to everyone once again and I hope this last chapter is enough :)

Every sensation was amplified in the warm darkness of the apartment. The brush of Victor’s fingers across Yuuri’s jaw sent something akin to electricity sparking through his body from the point of contact, and the soft, gentle movements of their mouths caused Yuuri’s legs to shake. Victor drew back and rested his head against Yuuri’s, but it was only seconds before Yuuri curled his fingers into the other man’s hair and pulled him back in. They stepped closer still until their chests were pressed together and Yuuri could feel Victor’s heartbeat against his own as their lips slid against one another. It was at the same time too much and not near enough. Victor’s touch was burning against Yuuri’s skin, and Yuuri clung to the back of Victor’s shirt as though it was the only thing keeping him from falling. Victor dipped his head lower and Yuuri felt teeth, almost testing, close on his bottom lip and tug very gently. A rather mortifying sound escaped from Yuuri’s throat and both men froze. Victor slowly drew back and, after a worrying pause, Yuuri felt him beginning to shake. Yuuri, face hot, loosened his grip and was about to step back completely before Victor let out an ugly snort and Yuuri realised he was laughing.

 

‘V-Victor!’ Yuuri managed, still breathless from the kiss. Victor’s laughter suddenly muffled itself and Yuuri reached up to feel a hand clamped over his mouth. He leaned forward and pressed his head against Victor’s trembling chest.

 

‘It’s not funny,’ Yuuri mumbled, pouting, ‘it was your fault.’ This seemed to calm Victor, as the laughter subsided and he began to run his fingers through Yuuri’s hair almost unconsciously.

 

‘Hmm, I suppose it was.’

 

Yuuri could hear the grin in his voice. They stood like that for a moment, Victor’s fingers carding softly through Yuuri’s hair, and Yuuri with his face against Victor’s chest, breathing in the warmth and listening to his pulse slowly calm. Words that so desperately needed to be said sat like treacle on Yuuri’s tongue, thick and suffocating.

 

‘Is this…’ he managed eventually, and Victor’s hands paused, ‘is this a… a _thing_ , then?’

 

_Smooth, Yuuri,_ he cursed himself internally. Victor remained still for a few seconds too long and Yuuri felt cold dread taking root in the pit of his stomach before the other man spoke.

 

‘It is if you want it to be.’

 

The dread turned into warm surprise, and Yuuri leaned back to look at Victor’s silhouette. His eyes had begun to adjust and the street lighting from outside, dim though it was, allowed him to see the sharp edges of Victor’s face. He turned his head to the side when Yuuri didn’t respond.

 

‘I want it to be,’ Yuuri said, and reached up to run his fingers across Victor’s cheekbones, coaxing him into turning back. He pushed away the doubts and the fears of ‘but’ and ‘what if,’ and ran his fingertips over Victor’s lips. ‘I really want it to be.’ He just had time to feel Victor’s grin under his fingers, before he dipped his head and caught Yuuri’s lips in a quick kiss.

 

‘Then it is,’ he said.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri woke to the sound of a door banging shut from somewhere far below, and buried his face further into the pillow. He felt the duvet move next to him and started, before remembering where he was and relaxing back into the warmth. He rolled onto his stomach as quietly as he could before propping himself up on his elbows and watching Victor sleep next to him. The morning sun snuck through the gaps in the curtains and drifted yellow light across the man’s skin. Victor looked younger in sleep, Yuuri though to himself as he watched his eyes move below the lids, there was no evidence of the strain Yuuri often caught in Victor’s expression when they were studying, and the crease between his eyebrows when he was thinking deeply about something had also vanished.

 

Yuuri reached out and ran his finger along the shell of Victor’s ear. The man stirred before blinking slowly awake and looking up at Yuuri with something akin to wonder.

 

‘I thought…’ he began after a moment, voice low with sleep, ‘that it might have been a dream.’

 

Yuuri smiled and shook his head very slightly. Victor smiled back and reached up to take Yuuri’s hand in his own. Yuuri watched, flustered, as Victor pulled his fingers to his lips and kissed each one individually, refusing to break eye contact as he did. Yuuri dropped his face into the pillow and hid as he felt the mattress shaking from Victor’s laughter.

 

‘ _Yuuriii._ ’ Victor hummed, shuffling close so that his breath tickled the back of Yuuri’s neck. ‘We should probably get up, you know.’

 

Yuuri grumbled something into the pillow and Victor sighed.

 

‘I’m going to shower, then we can go and get breakfast somewhere if you like.’

 

Yuuri reluctantly turned over to look up at Victor. He rubbed at his eyes and yawned.

 

‘Okay,’ he managed.

 

Victor grinned like a child and leaned down to press a kiss against Yuuri’s forehead so swiftly that Yuuri wondered if he’d imagined it, before sliding off the bed and padding into the bathroom. Yuuri lay still, smile on his face, as he listened to the door click shut and seconds later, the sound of water hitting tile.

 

He pushed himself into sitting but was almost knocked back down when Makkachin, spying his chance in Victor’s absence, jumped onto the bed and sat on Yuuri’s lap.

 

‘Good morning to you too,’ Yuuri spluttered through a mouthful of fur, and laughed at Makkachin’s bark of a reply. He blinked, trying to will the room into focus, and wished he’d thought to bring his glasses. Sliding out from under the duvet and away from a disgruntled Makkachin, Yuuri shuffled over to the sofa and pulled his phone out from the pile of clothes. He swiped a finger over the screen and felt his stomach flip as he saw seven missed calls and six text messages in his notifications, all from Phichit. Running a hand through his hair he clicked open and scrolled through, feeling the guilt pile up after each one.

 

**_Phichit:_ **

**where are you? theyre playing that song you like**

**_Phichit:_ **

**answer your phone i stg**

**_Phichit:_ **

**is everything ok?**

**_Phichit:_ **

**yuuri katsuki answer your god damn phone**

**_Phichit:_ **

**i hear someone saw you leave with victor ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ???!!!**

 

**_Phichit:_ **

**just call me when you get these**

 

Yuuri groaned and closed his eyes. He was a _terrible_ friend. He pressed the phone icon next to Phichit’s name and held the phone to his ear. It barely even rang before there was a click and Phichit’s voice squealed down the line at him.

 

‘YUURI!’

 

Yuuri almost hauled the phone across the room in fright.

 

‘Where _the hell_ have you been _all night_?’

 

Yuuri opened his mouth to answer but Phichit cut him off almost immediately.

 

‘I thought you were dead! You moron! I hate you!’ A pause. ‘Are you okay?’

 

‘Sorry Phichit,’ Yuuri said, defeated, ‘I should have called, I just, I didn’t think.’

 

‘Did you really leave with Victor?’ his friend asked immediately, and Yuuri detected a grin in his voice.

 

‘Yes.’

 

‘Where are you now?’ Phichit drew in a great breath and then, ‘ _oooh!_ Are you at his place?’

 

Yuuri remained silent.

 

‘You ARE!’ Phichit squealed down the phone in unrestrained glee and Yuuri pulled it away from his ear. Premature deafness was not something on his bucket list.

 

‘Phichit,’ Yuuri whined, ‘calm down.’

 

‘Alright, alright, sorry,’ he said, though very obviously not calm in any sense, ‘when are you coming back? You have to tell me _everything_.’

 

‘I won’t be long, Victor’s just in the shower,’ he said, pointedly ignoring Phichit’s whistle. ‘Probably half an hour or so.’

 

Phichit sighed dramatically.

 

‘ _And_ ,’ Yuuri added, ‘I’ll make you a deal.’

 

Phichit hummed, interested. ‘Go on.’

 

‘I’ll tell you everything, _but_ ,’ he cut in quickly before his friend could respond, ‘you will make no suggestive comments and or jokes of any kind.’

 

Phichit was quiet for a long moment, and Yuuri could almost hear his conflicted expression when he eventually huffed out a disgruntled ‘fine.’

 

‘Good,’ Yuuri said, ‘see you later.’

 

‘Bye Yuuri!’ Phichit sang teasingly before ending the call.

 

Yuuri dropped his phone back onto the sofa and sighed, though he couldn’t help the smile that crept its way across his face. He looked over to the bathroom door where the sound of water was still going strong, and glanced around the room for something to do.

 

A small bookshelf next to the tiny kitchenette caught his eye, and Yuuri walked over to take a closer look at three framed photographs displayed carefully along the top shelf. He crouched down and studied them in turn. One was of Makkachin, sleeping among shafts of gold sunlight on the edge of Victor’s bed, the next was of a younger Victor on a deep red sofa smiling widely at the camera, with Makkachin sitting next to him, and the third an image of Victor with his arm around a young blonde boy. Yuuri squinted and leaned closer. There was something annoyingly familiar about the boy, he thought. He looked between Victor’s face and the boy’s repeatedly. There wasn’t much in terms of similarity between the two – Victor’s warm smile and the younger boy’s hard scowl clashed enormously, but still…

 

‘Yuuri!’

 

Yuuri squeaked in shock and jumped to his feet just in time to see Victor exit the bathroom with a towel on his head. He’d changed back into his usual clothes, a comfy looking but smart jumper and a pair of jeans, but the sight still made Yuuri’s face hot.

 

‘I’m done in there now,’ he gestured to the bathroom over his shoulder, ‘take as long as you like.’

 

‘Oh, yeah, okay.’ Yuuri nodded but didn’t move. Victor frowned and walked over to him, pulling the towel from his head and picking at a loose thread.

 

‘Is everything alright?’ he asked quietly, nervously.

 

‘Yeah, everything…’ Yuuri paused at the tone of Victor’s voice, ‘everthing’s fine.’

 

Victor was silent for a moment, and when he spoke again it was almost in a whisper.

 

‘You know, um, if,’ he began running his fingers across the edge of the towel, ‘if you’ve changed your mind, it’s… I understand.’

 

Yuuri frowned, ‘what-‘ he began, but suddenly realised what Victor was getting at and grabbed at his arms. Victors hands stilled.

 

‘No,’ Yuuri said, and the conviction in his voice surprised him. ‘No, that’s… that’s not….’ He brushed the tips of his fingers over Victor’s knuckles and said more softly, ‘I haven’t changed my mind. I won’t. I meant what I said last night. This is what I want.’ He curled his fingers around Victor’s hands and the other man’s breath left him in a rush.

 

‘I promise,’ Yuuri said, just loud enough for Victor to hear, and fell into Victor’s chest when arms pulled him close.

 

‘That’s…’ Victor began a moment later, as Yuuri’s hands trailed paths along his spine, ‘I’m glad,’ he said, and after a long pause, ‘I’m happy.’

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr here:
> 
> little-frog.tumblr.com


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